Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
I'll admit I got a few good laughs out of this thread......
I'll add two dumb ones that I'm pretty sure I didn't see.
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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
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"Dam."
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What did Ernie say when Bert asked him if he wanted ice cream?
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"SureBert."
I'll add two dumb ones that I'm pretty sure I didn't see.
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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
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"Dam."
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What did Ernie say when Bert asked him if he wanted ice cream?
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"SureBert."
50 roster 8 taxi squad 10 team PPR (1pt) IDP (2pt tack/1 pt ast) Best Ball Dynasty
Start QB, 2RB, 3WR, TE, RB/WR/TE Flex, 3DL, 4LB, 4DB
QB: Carson Wentz, Kyler Murray, Dwayne Haskins
RB: Devonta Freeman, Derrius Guice, Ito Smith, Jordan Howard, Tarik Cohen, Chris Thompson, Jalen Richard, Ryquell Armstead, JD McKissic, James Robinson
WR: Julio Jones, Mike Evans, DeAndre Hopkins, Kenny Golladay, Christian Kirk, Terry McLaurin, Courtland Sutton, Golden Tate, Curtis Samuel, Parris Campbell, Steven Sims, Dede Westbrook
TE: Greg Olsen, Hunter Henry, Evan Engram, Dan Arnold
DL: D. Hunter, J. Allen, D. Barnett, C. Jones, C. Young, J. Epenesa
LB: Deion Jones, Fred Warner, Von Miller, Myles Jack, Anthony Barr, Kyzir White, Blake Cashman, Jayon Brown, DeVondre Campbell, Kiko, Jatavis, SDH, Hightower
DB: J.Simmons, J. Reid, V. Bell, J Tartt, Jalen Thompson, Marcus Williams, Shawn Williams, K. Willis
Start QB, 2RB, 3WR, TE, RB/WR/TE Flex, 3DL, 4LB, 4DB
QB: Carson Wentz, Kyler Murray, Dwayne Haskins
RB: Devonta Freeman, Derrius Guice, Ito Smith, Jordan Howard, Tarik Cohen, Chris Thompson, Jalen Richard, Ryquell Armstead, JD McKissic, James Robinson
WR: Julio Jones, Mike Evans, DeAndre Hopkins, Kenny Golladay, Christian Kirk, Terry McLaurin, Courtland Sutton, Golden Tate, Curtis Samuel, Parris Campbell, Steven Sims, Dede Westbrook
TE: Greg Olsen, Hunter Henry, Evan Engram, Dan Arnold
DL: D. Hunter, J. Allen, D. Barnett, C. Jones, C. Young, J. Epenesa
LB: Deion Jones, Fred Warner, Von Miller, Myles Jack, Anthony Barr, Kyzir White, Blake Cashman, Jayon Brown, DeVondre Campbell, Kiko, Jatavis, SDH, Hightower
DB: J.Simmons, J. Reid, V. Bell, J Tartt, Jalen Thompson, Marcus Williams, Shawn Williams, K. Willis
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
Glad to hear you have liked some of the jokes / puns. Having a streak of writers block otherwise i'd have posted more but thanks for sharing yours - they are pretty good.
Please speak to clarion contrarion before considering the use of vetos..
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
Man, how did I miss this thread? Definitely got some chuckles reading through it.
Why is the Energizer Bunny always running?
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He was charged with battery.
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His attorney, after contacting his client, was shocked by the charges.
Why is the Energizer Bunny always running?
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He was charged with battery.
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His attorney, after contacting his client, was shocked by the charges.
Last edited by ColdZealDonkeyStrike on Wed May 31, 2017 2:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
Dynasty player since 2002.
I probably should have done something more productive with that time...
I probably should have done something more productive with that time...
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
My friend and I tried our hand at the fruit cloning business, but that all ended.
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It turns out we don't make a good pear.
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It turns out we don't make a good pear.
Dynasty player since 2002.
I probably should have done something more productive with that time...
I probably should have done something more productive with that time...
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- MVP
- Posts: 2684
- Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 6:26 pm
- Location: Nagoya, JP
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
My wife claims the only thing worth living for is the pleasure of a warm room.
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I guess you could say she's a heat-on-ist.
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I guess you could say she's a heat-on-ist.
Dynasty player since 2002.
I probably should have done something more productive with that time...
I probably should have done something more productive with that time...
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- MVP
- Posts: 2684
- Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 6:26 pm
- Location: Nagoya, JP
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
The Indian Chief took a dare to drink 50 gallons of earl grey in one sitting.
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Hours later he was found dead in his tea pee.
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Hours later he was found dead in his tea pee.
Dynasty player since 2002.
I probably should have done something more productive with that time...
I probably should have done something more productive with that time...
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
Why does Luke Skywalker enjoy roasting marshmellows?
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Because he can be one with the S'mores!
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Because he can be one with the S'mores!
Please speak to clarion contrarion before considering the use of vetos..
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- MVP
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
Seaworld hosted a special camp out for Dolphin Week.
It was a good time for all in tents and porpoises.
It was a good time for all in tents and porpoises.
Dynasty player since 2002.
I probably should have done something more productive with that time...
I probably should have done something more productive with that time...
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
What types of books are most depressed?
Thouse that are withdrawn.
Thouse that are withdrawn.
Please speak to clarion contrarion before considering the use of vetos..
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
Why are Bears fans excited this season?
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Because their team could be Cohen places!
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Because their team could be Cohen places!
Please speak to clarion contrarion before considering the use of vetos..
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
When you are rushing to go into the bathroom, and finish when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you are in the bathroom??
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European!!
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European!!
Please speak to clarion contrarion before considering the use of vetos..
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
This is a funny thread thank god for slow work days
Here is my joke
Why did the golfer take a extra pair of socks??
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Incase he got a hole-in-one
ba da chhhh
Here is my joke
Why did the golfer take a extra pair of socks??
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Incase he got a hole-in-one
ba da chhhh
1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR 1TE, Super Flex, 2 Flex Spots. 10 Team Dynasty PPR
2016 Champs 2019 Runner up 2020 Champs
QB- Lamar Jackson, Jordan Love
RB- Alvin Kamara, AJ Dillion
WR- Christian Kirk, Michael Pittman, Aiyuk, Alec Pierce, DJ Chare, Terrace Marshall, Metchie,
TE- George Kittle, Darren Waller, Greg Dortch.
Team 2 10 Team 1 QB 2 RB 3 WR 1 TE 2 Flex 2 SF
2020 3rd place Year 1
(This is a rebuild team selling vets)
QB Joe Burrow, Kenny Pickett, Geno,
RB AJ Dillon, Josh Jacobs, Tony Pollard,
WR Tee Higgins, Sutton, HollywoodTerry McLaurin, DJM, Ju-Ju, Hodgins,
TE Hock, Andrews, Kyle Pitts, Otton, Ertz
Picks
2023 4 1st 5 2nd
2024 3rd
“Not good enough to count on as a starter, but too good to drop, so they clog my bench.” dlf_mikeh
2016 Champs 2019 Runner up 2020 Champs
QB- Lamar Jackson, Jordan Love
RB- Alvin Kamara, AJ Dillion
WR- Christian Kirk, Michael Pittman, Aiyuk, Alec Pierce, DJ Chare, Terrace Marshall, Metchie,
TE- George Kittle, Darren Waller, Greg Dortch.
Team 2 10 Team 1 QB 2 RB 3 WR 1 TE 2 Flex 2 SF
2020 3rd place Year 1
(This is a rebuild team selling vets)
QB Joe Burrow, Kenny Pickett, Geno,
RB AJ Dillon, Josh Jacobs, Tony Pollard,
WR Tee Higgins, Sutton, HollywoodTerry McLaurin, DJM, Ju-Ju, Hodgins,
TE Hock, Andrews, Kyle Pitts, Otton, Ertz
Picks
2023 4 1st 5 2nd
2024 3rd
“Not good enough to count on as a starter, but too good to drop, so they clog my bench.” dlf_mikeh
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
Thats a good one - thanks for sharing.
You'll find that after a while these jokes will be a groaning on you.
Please speak to clarion contrarion before considering the use of vetos..
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
Why do people feel less stressed when they depart the bathroom??
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Because they get to leave all their sh*t behind!
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Because they get to leave all their sh*t behind!
Please speak to clarion contrarion before considering the use of vetos..
Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!
Do you know what Aphrodite said to Athena about Hermes?
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No?
Me neither! It was all Greek to me!
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No?
Me neither! It was all Greek to me!
Please speak to clarion contrarion before considering the use of vetos..
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