Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

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ArrylT
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Mon Jul 04, 2016 8:25 am

What do you call a bunch of scared bulls & heifers?

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A cow herd!!
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:00 am

What did the cook say after he burnt the hawaiian pizza?

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I guess I better cook it at aloha temperature next time!
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Thu Aug 04, 2016 10:24 am

Why do aardvarks like going to school?

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Because of all the students!
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:59 am

Why do IT Professionals tend to drown a lot?

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Because they tend to choose synching over swimming.
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby dlf4lyfe » Tue Aug 16, 2016 9:13 am

ArrylT wrote:Why do aardvarks like going to school?

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Because of all the students!
:eh: help me understand this one.

You own this thread! Surprised no1 else has thrown one down...

This one is a lil more PG-13 but here goes..

How did Ken never get Barbie pregnant?


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Because Ken always came in a different box.
10 team | 10 Keepers | .5 ppr | QB | RBx2 | WRx2 | RB/WR/TE | WR/TE | K | D/ST

QB: Burrow | Prescott
RB: Chubb | Dobbins | Sanders | Edwards-Helaire | Patterson | Edmonds | Henderson | Edwards | Benjamin
WR/TE: Moore | London | Kelce | Cooks | Lockett | Lazard | Parker | Jones

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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:50 pm

Haha thats a good one!

Box is another slang word for beaver / flower / honey pot if you catch the drift ...
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:52 pm

Unless you were referring to mine - wasnt sure which joke I was supposed to clarify lol. :biggrin:

If it is mine its another pun based on slurred pronunciation. So students is pronounced - stewed ants.

A lot of these puns work better when spoken than written lol.
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:53 pm

What do you call a group of nuns that walk around a lot?

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Roamin' Catholics
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Sat Aug 20, 2016 6:48 pm

What kind of records are never in a hurry to get played?

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Patient records.
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby M-Dub » Sat Sep 17, 2016 3:37 am

ArrylT wrote:
skip wrote:
ArrylT wrote:Why do bald men hate taking the bus?

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Because whenever they get on, they are told to pay.
This one needs some explanation...I have no idea how these are related.
to pay
toupee (pronounced too/pa)
I actually liked this joke a lot better before you explained it. I assumed it meant that bald guys never get laid unless they pay to "get on" a hooker, and paying to ride the bus is just a harsh reminder of that sad reality. It seemed way edgier than the rest of these jokes, but I guess it really wasn't.
Both are 12-team 1QB PPR dynasties

🦬PRIME🦬
QB: Hurts, Howell
RB: Mixon, Jones, Sanders, Dobbins, Akers, Roschon, Dowdle, Kelley
WR: Nuk, Godwin, Cooper, Lockett, Flowers, Chark, Collins, Hollins, Tillman, Tolbert
TE: Hockenson, Chig, Trautman
Taxi: Willis, Z. White, M. Mims, T. Palmer

Hull Awaits
$450 cap, 60 contract years

QB: Lawrence $5/3, Richardson $5/5, Minshew $1/0, Jones $1/0, Heinicke $1/0, Tyrod $1/0
RB: Achane $4/4, Warren $2/4, Roschon $7/5, Dillon $4/1, Hubbard $2/1, Kelley $1/0
WR: Nuk $78/1, MT $25/1, M. Williams $1/0, JSN $21/5, Reed $4/5, Rice $4/5, M. Wilson $2/5
TE: Thomas $1/0, Hill $1/0, Parham $1/0

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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby zoster80 » Sat Sep 17, 2016 11:41 am

What do you call a pony with a sore throat.....

--------------------


--------------------





A little hoarse.
***said with a hoarse voice****
Zo Nasty -12 Teams, PPR, 30 players - Keep 24
Start QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, 2 Flex, K, DST

QB: Herbert, B Young
RB: Bijan, Warren, Z Moss, K Ingram, J kelley
WR: D London, Z Flowers, JSN, J Reed, QJ G Davis, Gallup, DPJ, M Mims, J Metchie, W Robinson, J Tolbert, J Jennings
TE: J Ferguson Fant, J Johnson, Gesicki
DST: Colts NE
K: Butker

2024 Picks
1.03,1.05,1.06,1.10,3.05,4.05,5.05,6.05
2025 Picks
1,2,3,4,5,6
_________________________
PLP - 12 Teams, PPR, 29 Active roster - Keep 23 + 4 taxi
Start QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, 2 Flex, K, DST

QB: Burrow Dobbs, R Wilson, Stidham, Carr,
RB: CMC, Hall, K Walker, Swift, M Sanders M Carter, K Gainwell, CEH, Hunt, C Evans, E Wilson, P Taylor, D Johnson,
WR: DJM, Metcalf, AJ Brown, Hopkins, M Gallup, Chark, T Scott, P Washington, G Dortch, J Watson, R Woods
TE: M Andrews, Fant , Hudson, Higbee, L Thomas, J Johnson,
DST: SF, PHI

TAXI:
C Jones, B Strange, J Shorter, W Levis
2024 Picks
4.11,5.11,6.05, 6.11[/size]
2025 Picks
4,5,5,6,6
2026 Picks
4,5,6,6

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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby zoster80 » Sat Sep 17, 2016 11:43 am

What did the lawyer name is daughter


-----------------------------


-------------------//--------


Sue
Zo Nasty -12 Teams, PPR, 30 players - Keep 24
Start QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, 2 Flex, K, DST

QB: Herbert, B Young
RB: Bijan, Warren, Z Moss, K Ingram, J kelley
WR: D London, Z Flowers, JSN, J Reed, QJ G Davis, Gallup, DPJ, M Mims, J Metchie, W Robinson, J Tolbert, J Jennings
TE: J Ferguson Fant, J Johnson, Gesicki
DST: Colts NE
K: Butker

2024 Picks
1.03,1.05,1.06,1.10,3.05,4.05,5.05,6.05
2025 Picks
1,2,3,4,5,6
_________________________
PLP - 12 Teams, PPR, 29 Active roster - Keep 23 + 4 taxi
Start QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, 2 Flex, K, DST

QB: Burrow Dobbs, R Wilson, Stidham, Carr,
RB: CMC, Hall, K Walker, Swift, M Sanders M Carter, K Gainwell, CEH, Hunt, C Evans, E Wilson, P Taylor, D Johnson,
WR: DJM, Metcalf, AJ Brown, Hopkins, M Gallup, Chark, T Scott, P Washington, G Dortch, J Watson, R Woods
TE: M Andrews, Fant , Hudson, Higbee, L Thomas, J Johnson,
DST: SF, PHI

TAXI:
C Jones, B Strange, J Shorter, W Levis
2024 Picks
4.11,5.11,6.05, 6.11[/size]
2025 Picks
4,5,5,6,6
2026 Picks
4,5,6,6

zoster80
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby zoster80 » Sat Sep 17, 2016 11:45 am

What does Bruce Lee order at Burger King?


---/------------------/------



-//---/---------------/------



Whopppaaaa
Zo Nasty -12 Teams, PPR, 30 players - Keep 24
Start QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, 2 Flex, K, DST

QB: Herbert, B Young
RB: Bijan, Warren, Z Moss, K Ingram, J kelley
WR: D London, Z Flowers, JSN, J Reed, QJ G Davis, Gallup, DPJ, M Mims, J Metchie, W Robinson, J Tolbert, J Jennings
TE: J Ferguson Fant, J Johnson, Gesicki
DST: Colts NE
K: Butker

2024 Picks
1.03,1.05,1.06,1.10,3.05,4.05,5.05,6.05
2025 Picks
1,2,3,4,5,6
_________________________
PLP - 12 Teams, PPR, 29 Active roster - Keep 23 + 4 taxi
Start QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, 2 Flex, K, DST

QB: Burrow Dobbs, R Wilson, Stidham, Carr,
RB: CMC, Hall, K Walker, Swift, M Sanders M Carter, K Gainwell, CEH, Hunt, C Evans, E Wilson, P Taylor, D Johnson,
WR: DJM, Metcalf, AJ Brown, Hopkins, M Gallup, Chark, T Scott, P Washington, G Dortch, J Watson, R Woods
TE: M Andrews, Fant , Hudson, Higbee, L Thomas, J Johnson,
DST: SF, PHI

TAXI:
C Jones, B Strange, J Shorter, W Levis
2024 Picks
4.11,5.11,6.05, 6.11[/size]
2025 Picks
4,5,5,6,6
2026 Picks
4,5,6,6

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ArrylT
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Thu Sep 29, 2016 8:32 pm

M-Dub wrote:I actually liked this joke a lot better before you explained it. I assumed it meant that bald guys never get laid unless they pay to "get on" a hooker, and paying to ride the bus is just a harsh reminder of that sad reality. It seemed way edgier than the rest of these jokes, but I guess it really wasn't.
Thanks for the feedback & the sharing of the double entendre! To be honest I wouldnt have explained it if the other poster hadnt asked.
Please speak to clarion contrarion before considering the use of vetos..

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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Thu Sep 29, 2016 8:33 pm

Those were some good ones zoster! :thumbup: :thumbup:

Please feel free to share any more you find or come up with!
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