Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

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ArrylT
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Mon Jul 04, 2016 8:25 am

What do you call a bunch of scared bulls & heifers?

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....

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A cow herd!!
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:00 am

What did the cook say after he burnt the hawaiian pizza?

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...

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I guess I better cook it at aloha temperature next time!
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Thu Aug 04, 2016 10:24 am

Why do aardvarks like going to school?

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Because of all the students!
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:59 am

Why do IT Professionals tend to drown a lot?

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Because they tend to choose synching over swimming.
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby dlf4lyfe » Tue Aug 16, 2016 9:13 am

ArrylT wrote:Why do aardvarks like going to school?

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Because of all the students!
:eh: help me understand this one.

You own this thread! Surprised no1 else has thrown one down...

This one is a lil more PG-13 but here goes..

How did Ken never get Barbie pregnant?


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Because Ken always came in a different box.
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:50 pm

Haha thats a good one!

Box is another slang word for beaver / flower / honey pot if you catch the drift ...
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:52 pm

Unless you were referring to mine - wasnt sure which joke I was supposed to clarify lol. :biggrin:

If it is mine its another pun based on slurred pronunciation. So students is pronounced - stewed ants.

A lot of these puns work better when spoken than written lol.
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:53 pm

What do you call a group of nuns that walk around a lot?

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...

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Roamin' Catholics
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Sat Aug 20, 2016 6:48 pm

What kind of records are never in a hurry to get played?

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...

...

Patient records.
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby M-Dub » Sat Sep 17, 2016 3:37 am

ArrylT wrote:
skip wrote:
ArrylT wrote:Why do bald men hate taking the bus?

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Because whenever they get on, they are told to pay.
This one needs some explanation...I have no idea how these are related.
to pay
toupee (pronounced too/pa)
I actually liked this joke a lot better before you explained it. I assumed it meant that bald guys never get laid unless they pay to "get on" a hooker, and paying to ride the bus is just a harsh reminder of that sad reality. It seemed way edgier than the rest of these jokes, but I guess it really wasn't.
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby zoster80 » Sat Sep 17, 2016 11:41 am

What do you call a pony with a sore throat.....

--------------------


--------------------





A little hoarse.
***said with a hoarse voice****
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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby zoster80 » Sat Sep 17, 2016 11:43 am

What did the lawyer name is daughter


-----------------------------


-------------------//--------


Sue
2017 Champ
Zo Nasty -12 Teams, PPR, 24 players - Keep 18
Start QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, Flex, K, DST

QB: Rodgers Keenum, J Rosen
RB: T Gurley, Crowell, Collins, SWare, Foreman, J Allen, J Kelly, Ajayi, P Barber, Ivory
WR: Julio, M. Evans, D. Hopkins, Juju ,K Allen, J Doctson, J Ross, D Smith
TE: Kelce Geiski,
DST: Pitt

2019 Picks
1,3,4,5,6
________________________________________________________________________________________
PLP - 12 Teams, PPR, 23 Active roster - 4 Taxi - Keep 21 -
Start QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, 2 Flex, K, DST

QB: R Wilson
RB: T Coleman, P Barber, Guice, S. Michel, S ware, J Allen, Lynch, J Adams
WR: A Jeffery, D Baldwin, Godwin, Gallup, Moncrief, Dez, C Coleman, Doctson, M Harris
TE: Vannett, J Butt
DST: Eagles

TAXI:E McGuire, Mark Walton, Jaylen Samuels, ESB
2019 Picks
1,1,1,1,1,2,3,4,5,6

2020 Picks
1,2,2,3,4,5,6

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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby zoster80 » Sat Sep 17, 2016 11:45 am

What does Bruce Lee order at Burger King?


---/------------------/------



-//---/---------------/------



Whopppaaaa
2017 Champ
Zo Nasty -12 Teams, PPR, 24 players - Keep 18
Start QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, Flex, K, DST

QB: Rodgers Keenum, J Rosen
RB: T Gurley, Crowell, Collins, SWare, Foreman, J Allen, J Kelly, Ajayi, P Barber, Ivory
WR: Julio, M. Evans, D. Hopkins, Juju ,K Allen, J Doctson, J Ross, D Smith
TE: Kelce Geiski,
DST: Pitt

2019 Picks
1,3,4,5,6
________________________________________________________________________________________
PLP - 12 Teams, PPR, 23 Active roster - 4 Taxi - Keep 21 -
Start QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, 2 Flex, K, DST

QB: R Wilson
RB: T Coleman, P Barber, Guice, S. Michel, S ware, J Allen, Lynch, J Adams
WR: A Jeffery, D Baldwin, Godwin, Gallup, Moncrief, Dez, C Coleman, Doctson, M Harris
TE: Vannett, J Butt
DST: Eagles

TAXI:E McGuire, Mark Walton, Jaylen Samuels, ESB
2019 Picks
1,1,1,1,1,2,3,4,5,6

2020 Picks
1,2,2,3,4,5,6

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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Thu Sep 29, 2016 8:32 pm

M-Dub wrote:I actually liked this joke a lot better before you explained it. I assumed it meant that bald guys never get laid unless they pay to "get on" a hooker, and paying to ride the bus is just a harsh reminder of that sad reality. It seemed way edgier than the rest of these jokes, but I guess it really wasn't.
Thanks for the feedback & the sharing of the double entendre! To be honest I wouldnt have explained it if the other poster hadnt asked.
Please speak to clarion contrarion before considering the use of vetos..

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Re: Bad Puns / Jokes - You have been Warned!

Postby ArrylT » Thu Sep 29, 2016 8:33 pm

Those were some good ones zoster! :thumbup: :thumbup:

Please feel free to share any more you find or come up with!
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